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Relationships are not like living in a rainbow land where everything goes as planned. Relationships are about getting through every situation of life together without giving up on each other. Life is too short to stay stuck in a toxic relationship. So, if you feel you are in one, you can either work upon improving it or move on. There is no point sitting around and resisting! Take charge of your own happiness.

Was your relationship all good in the beginning but it’s simply stressful now? If your being with your partner gives you stress and you can’t be yourself around them, you are probably in a toxic relationship.

What is a Toxic Relationship?

A relationship is supposed to make you feel happy and relaxed. If it does not, then you don’t have to be with that person. A toxic relationship is the one which makes you feel stressful, dumb, contaminates your self-esteem, and fills your heart with remorse and pain. A toxic relationship is the one where you feel emotionally drained and the constant fear of judgment creeps in when you are with them. It is very necessary to identify the signs of a toxic relationship because it can damage you in more ways than you think! Here are 10 signs of a toxic relationship:

1) Jealous in Every Sense
Jealous in Every Sense
Image Source – Google

Many times we ignore the signs of toxicity thinking it is pretty normal. Well, Jealousy is one of those signs. Being jealous in a relationship is normal, isn’t it? Some might even find it cute! But, there is a very thin line between jealousy and toxicity. If they are jealous of people who flirt with you, it is natural. But if they are jealous of every person who talks to you nicely and with the slightest of threat, they ask you to stop talking to them that is toxic! You’re a human too and can’t stop living your life for them. Your partner needs to trust you and your love.

2) Criticism & Comparison
Criticism & Comparison
Image Source – Google

You are never too good for them! All you’re ever going to hear is “Why don’t you dress up like her?” “Her boyfriend made this grand gesture for her, why don’t you ever do it?” or “You need to lose some weight, you look awful!”

Well if they criticize and compare you to other people then, they clearly don’t see you for who you are. They have an ideal image of you and want you to fit into that. This ain’t healthy!

3) Communication is a Big Deal
Communication is a Big Deal
Image Source – Google

Communication is the building block of a relationship. Being in a relationship with someone means that you can talk to them about anything and everything fearlessly. Isn’t that’s what significant other is supposed to do? Understand you? Well, if you can not talk to them without thinking or without the fear of being judged then you are definitely in a toxic relationship.

4) They Don’t Encourage You To Grow
They Don’t Encourage You To Grow
Image Source – Google

You grow a little every day. While you grow, you change in many ways. Someone who truly loves you will support you through those changes and hurdles of life, while your insecure partner will try to hold you back and become a hurdle in your personal growth. They will be jealous of your achievements, will not support your interest and always make you feel like you do not matter. They may often mock you & make fun of you!

5) Passive Aggressive Behavior
Passive Aggressive Behavior
Image Source – Google

This is the most commonly approved behaviour in relationships. Fighting isn’t a good thing but staying silent and dropping hints is even worse. If something is bothering you, talk to them about it than avoiding the conversation. This harms relationships the most. Your partner may feel unwanted. Ignorance isn’t bliss and tantrums aren’t fun.

6) Constant Fear of Break Up
Constant Fear of Break Up
Image Source – Google

Do you think it is worth being in a relationship where you constantly fear losing your partner? Being worried about losing the other person is not the sign of a healthy relationship. You may fear because they constantly threaten to break up with you, flirt with other people a lot or maybe you feel really unwanted. Either way, it is going to disturb your peace of mind and nothing is worth it!

7) Non-Stop Narcissism
Non-Stop Narcissism
Image Source – Google

People often masquerade narcissism as self-love. If your partner is always talking about themselves and hardly care about what’s happening with you, it ain’t a healthy relationship. Self-Love is a good thing. If you don’t love yourself, you can not expect someone else to love you. But, when you commit to the other person, you need to love them just as much as you love yourself because your significant other matters!

8) Constant Need of Being Perfect
Constant Need of Being Perfect
Image Source – Google

Everyone is mortified on their first date. We try to be perfect and try our best not to do or say anything stupid. It is okay! The problem is when you always try to be perfect around them. You hide your flaws all the time when you are around them. Have a constant fear of being judged and this makes you uncomfortable in being yourself around them. You need to be with someone who makes you feel comfortable so you can be yourself, with all the flaws! You need to let your guard down.

9) Competition & Scorecard
Competition & Scorecard
Image Source – Google

In a healthy relationship, your partner is going to listen to your problems and forgive & forget your mistakes. In a toxic relationship whenever you share your problems or achievements, your partner is going to compare it to their own. If you say “You had a really bad day at work”, instead of sympathizing or asking what happened they will start to make you feel that their day was worse. No matter what you say, they are just going to compete with you. Your partner may even have a scorecard of where they compare ‘who made more mistakes?’

You need to understand that it is a relationship and not an academic project!

10) Privacy? What Privacy?
Privacy? What Privacy?
Image Source – Google

Even when you are in a relationship, you are an individual and deserve some level of privacy. If your partner trusts you, they will respect your privacy. If you find your partner constantly checking your call logs, emails, text messages & social media inboxes then they definitely do not trust you. Everyone has a personal life and keeping a tab on your SO is a major sign of a toxic relationship. You are an adult and do not need a babysitter!

11) Restrictions
Restrictions
Image Source – Google

People always think it is okay to tell your partner what to do and what not to do. Reality check, it is not okay! Every individual has their own life and one can’t be restricting them from doing stuff. If you find your partner controlling your every move, asking you not to talk to people, giving up on things you enjoy & controlling everything you say, welcome to a classic toxic relationship.

12) You Are Simply Not Happy
You Are Simply Not Happy
Image Source – Google

If you don’t feel empowered and happy in a relationship then you aren’t with the right person. Your significant other is supposed to make you happy. You are supposed to become the better version of yourself with the person you love and, if you can’t then you have to find out why.

Every relationship has ups and downs. Relationships aren’t walking in the park on a sunny yet breezy day, they are about walking in the park in every season and protecting each other. Relationships aren’t all happy or all sad, balance is very important. It is very easy to land into a relationship but difficult to maintain one.

P.S. If you feel you are the toxic one in the relationship, you are not a bad person. You just belong with someone else. Let the other person go!

Relationships are complex. And that’s the truth about them. No matter how loving, caring or supportive your partner is, conflicts are an unavoidable part of every relationship. We all are born with a natural need for love and attention, which when not met trigger negative emotions of anger and sorrow. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect partner. Yes, even those always smiling couples holding hands together that you see on Facebook go through their fair share of relationship turbulence. Because realistically it is never possible to meet all the needs of your partner. But how you handle your relationship issues says a lot about how long it is going to survive.

You should pick a partner who is ready to work with you towards building a strong and long relationship. Below given are some of the qualities to look for in a life partner that will ensure the survival of your relationship during tough times.

Humor Goes a Long Way

Humor Goes a Long Way

There isn’t anything better than having a partner who can make you smile. Every relationship goes through difficulties and bummers in life. So it’s important to have someone who can hug you and say “All is well.”

Supports Your Decisions & Passions
Supports Your Decisions & Passions
Image Source – Google

One important quality that you surely needs to have in your partner- Supportive. Whether you have to take an important life decision, accept a job offer or start a new endeavor, your partner should always stand by your side. And encourage you to go ahead and realize your dreams.

Matches Your Level of Craziness
Matches Your Level of Craziness
Image Source – Google

Incompatibility is one of the major causes of relationship breakage. Because it is something that has to be in a relationship and you can’t really work on it. So, make sure your partner has similar interests or likes to make your relationship survive longer.

Loves You for Who You Are
Loves You for Who You Are
Image Source – Google

Always go for a partner who accepts all your flaws and loves your natural being. If you need to change any of your qualities because your partner is not comfortable with them that may create a problem later. You shouldn’t feel restricted or suppressed in a relationship and should be free to be your true-self.

Values Your Opinions
Values Your Opinions
Image Source – Google

We all have opinions. That sometimes may not go down well with our partners. But that doesn’t mean your partner makes a fuss about it. He should be mature enough to respect your thoughts. This quality goes a long way in enriching your relationship.

Loyalty Is Must
Loyalty Is Must
Image Source – Google

Fidelity is the key! You cannot expect a relationship of doubts and mistrust to survive longer. If your partner is not loyal, you will keep doubting his actions that will eventually poison your relationship. So make sure your partner is loyal and do not hide things from you.

Willing To Compromise
Willing To Compromise
Image Source – Google

Every relationship is built on a strong foundation of compromise. There will be several times when both you and your partner may disagree on something. At that time, both of you need to act mature and be open-minded to each other’s needs and wants.

Brings Out the Best in You
Brings Out the Best in You
Image Source – Google

People who love and appreciate you truly always encourage you to follow your passions and bring out the best in you. That’s the kind of positivity you need in your partner and life. Be with someone who helps you shine by overcoming the clouds of darkness.

Able To Communicate
Able To Communicate
Image Source – Google

Communication in a relationship is a must. Because minus this there will be no exchange of thoughts or views. You won’t be able to understand the needs of your partner or what is going on in his mind that will eventually suffocate your relationship. Having a partner who can communicate well will make you comfortable and allow to discuss issues that are important for the organic growth of your relationship.

Gives You Space
Gives You Space
Image Source – Google

Even being in a mushy and romantic relationship you need space to do things of your own that gives you a sense of satisfaction. Which is always a good thing as it gives you room to explore more and grow. And your partner must be supportive of it. He should not be clingy all the time and give you enough space to explore your interests

Do look out for these qualities in your life partner!

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