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In very early days of my college years, I had a friend who was coping with a breakup. I couldn’t help but wonder at times that what is so attention seeking and captivating in her man that she just cannot get herself together? After a few years, by destiny’s play, I had to step into her shoes because I was contemplating severe acts against my depressive chain of thoughts.

Then I had a thought, I cannot do this to myself. I just cannot retreat myself into a cool, dark place of a cocoon, I couldn’t get much dumber. I was in a deep, dark pit of shallow and mundane thoughts where my happiness laid in the hands of a person who had abandoned me. I had completely forgotten my self-worth and my grounds shook beneath my feet. But, then again there is always light at the end of the tunnel! I met a friend who consoled me in and out, empathized with my suffering and handed over a rope to me to get out of that pit.

If you too, know someone whose behaviour is unlike the normal days, their social media presence is off-putting and any other signs that you feel might be a cause of worry. Then, you should definitely lend an ear to that friend dealing with traumatizing thoughts post a breakup.

1)    Empathy is the key
Empathy is the key
Image Source – Google

Gautama Buddha said it right, “Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.” When you know that your friend is not able to get over the depressing thoughts of his lover’s departure it is best to climb into her/his skin and think out loud from their viewpoint. Only then, you’ll be able to come to the best conclusion.

2)    Don’t be judgmental too early
Don't be judgmental
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Hear me loud, there is a huge difference between listening and understanding. It happens every day, people fall apart, some of them get back together and some of them don’t! In those times the best you can do to your friend is not try to be hard on them. Most of the people behave bizarre and odd when they face challenging times, this simply does not imply that you have to reciprocate the feeling. Don’t! Give them time!

3)    Introduce them to a hobby
Image Source – Google

This is perhaps the best thing you can help them with. Whenever a person focuses on her/his hobby he is bound to give more than 50% of his attention to the said task. You can ask them what brings out the best in them so that they can switch off their negativities and re-boot! They like to paint, bring them acrylic colours, they lie to dance, make them join an academy. Make them push their energies into something prodcutive and useful!

4)    TALK
Talk
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It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice. Why do I say that? There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear! Talk to them when they feel alone at night or when they ignore everyone else around them. Take a walk. It helps!

5)    Ask them to travel
Ask them to travel
Image Source – Google

Last but not the least, travelling unties all the knots that we bind, be it the knots of pessimism or residues of over-thinking. After you lose someone special, you gain a lot of lessons and some of the best lessons we learn are from travelling!

Tell us in the comments below if you’ve any more tips we would love to hear!  

There is a famous saying that “Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.”

This proverb is a hopeful medicine when you are going through a break-up. When you were in a relationship with someone, there was new hope, excitement in love and romance, and everything about that person seemed cute and adorable. The world seems so much more colorful when your so-called soul mate is by your side and the same world turns grey when that soul mate leaves you.

The first few months or years for some seems to be a punishment. But please, don’t be harsh on yourself or curse that person. Instead, be thankful that the relationship ended because there are some sweet benefits that you can draw from that break-up. Calm down a bit and read the flip side of a break-up!

Freedom like Never Before

Let’s be honest and agree to the fact that – one is never free in real terms in a relationship. Your partner was perhaps ok with the fact that you were going out with your friends or deciding on certain goals but in the long run, these were the things which led to some bitterness in your relationship. But now he/she is no more a part of your life, all you can enjoy is Freedom in the truest sense. You can go on a long drive, return home late, eat the salads, pizza, or roll a joint without compromising, visit your favorite city, or bring a pet home. There would be no shrieking voice to stop you from living your life on your own terms – as simple as that.

Freedom like Never Before
Image Source – Google
Space like NASA

The physical and mental space that you enjoy after a break-up is commendable. If you have been in a live-in relationship, the wardrobe, bathroom cabinet, shoe rack, and the whole house would feel lighter. Sometimes, after a tiring day at work, all you want is silence and your own SELF which was initially impossible with the presence of your partner. But now all you have is space – so utilize it in a great way. Perhaps you simply wanted to enjoy a relaxing Sunday at home with home cooked food but your partner wanted to meet you – that’s the beauty of a break-up – you don’t have to act to be happy now!

Space like NASA
Image Source- Google
Finally, There Would be No Acting

Oh! This is such a big sigh of relief – right? You don’t have to unnecessarily act that how much you like his/her friends or relatives who feel it is their birthright to drop at your place every now and then that too unannounced! There would be no one to eat away your peace of mind….you can now be safe on your holidays and weekends. You don’t have to think of the main dish, desserts, and other modes of entertainment for those awful bunch of people.

Finally, There Would be No Acting
Image Source – Google
You Get Better Understanding of the SELF

You and only you are the most important person in your life and every other thing and people come later. In a relationship, you have understood the other person but after a break-up, you gain more knowledge about the real kind of person you are. You come to learn more about your limits and strengths and most importantly, you learn where you can happily sacrifice and where not! This understanding is very important to avoid more heartbreaks in future. You start loving yourself more now!

You Get Better Understanding of the SELF
Image Source – Google
The List of “What I Want in a Relationship” is Refined

Every break up is like a lesson from which you learn something. Every person is searching something special for his/her partner and your list is simply refined now. Maybe the thrill, adventure, or romance was missing a bit in your last relationship. Now you know what all you want in your partner in a clearer way.

The List of “What I Want in a Relationship” is Refined
Image Source – Google
The Real Friends would Show Up

When you are going through a shining phase in your life, everyone would praise you, love you, and go crazy about you. But when you are hitting the low lanes of life, you would know who all your real friends are. The real or true friends would come close to you at this moment and built the lost courage and confidence in you again. So, treasure these friends!

The Real Friends would Show Up
Image Source – Google
Creativity May Shine Out

Love is sweet, beautiful, and amazing – true. Heartbreaks are pathetic, traumatic, and sour – period! Your heart is in pain and you can use this pain to narrate a novel, write some poems, compose a piece of music, or paint. After channelizing your pain or negative energy for a creative purpose, you are definitely going to thank this break-up phase!

Creativity May Shine Out
Image Source – Google

Losing hope and positivity for a break-up is not a valiant idea. I know, understanding this thing at an early stage of break-up is a bit difficult but when you calm down a bit, you would really understand these great benefits of your break-up. You won’t have any hard feelings then and would thank for that phase!

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